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  • Writer's pictureKirk Jenkins

At Last, We Get a Real Live Sword Fight

Cnut speaketh to his Herald and says goeth down to Troy, the home of Ironside, and go all “surrender, Dorothy” of ‘em before we whup them good. So Herald goes down to the city gates and hollers up y’all best pack it in before Cnut burns the whole shootin’ match. Bailiff at the city walls responds you can crush us or starve us or leave us to getting water outta of the stream (apparently it wasn’t exactly an EPA model site), but we shan’t be changing sides hoss, so bugger off thou.

Herald reports back to Cnut who says well fine then – burn the city to the ground and kill everybody in sight, that oughta teach ‘em. At this point, Ironside approaches with his troops – hey, he’s timely, if nothing else.

The Danes congratulate themselves on their obvious courage and predict inevitable victory even before Eddie arrives. But then enter Ironside who, well, proves to be a significantly better sword-fighter than Cnut, driving him clean off the stage.

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